Become a Mirror
Cultivating conversations as catalysts for ideas
IDEA | FILM
Zabriskie Point, Michelangelo Antonioni, 1970
Dearest Being,
How do we get people to truly hear us: our ideas, our opinions, our perspectives? How do we bridge conceptual gaps and break down walls?
Conversations are often where ideas take on their adolescent shape. This is how human thinking has evolved, through discussion and story, through in-depth exchange of what can be known and what must be believed.
Good conversations are catalysts in the forming process, and they cannot be forced. But how do we define good conversations? Well, we know them when we’re in them. We tend to sense some ground is being broken, a new dent made in the fabric of the universe, a step forward of some kind. Good conversations absorb our being. We lose a core part of ourselves to them, and in return, we gain a new way of thinking.
But this is also the reason for their scarcity. They demand a lot from us. Their cultivation requires us to build a two way road of raw thought, a rare kind of freedom to express and explore without fear of judgment, and this takes an unusual level of patience, as we are asked to become both the subject of the moment as well as its audience.
So, what if, in order for us to be truly heard, we do the opposite of the obvious, we stay quiet and shift our focus to the practice of listening.
Here’s an experiment. The next time you’re in a situation that seems to be demanding your opinion, don’t give it, at least not immediately. Become a mirror. Pause. Remain silent but engaged, and say to yourself, ‘I will let this moment unfold as it will, without me trying to place my stamp upon it, without my brain firing out some half believed fact most likely scraped off social media. Let me only listen. Let me only offer presence here. Let me try and cultivate a space where a good conversation might organically occur.’
An interesting realisation will arise from this practice. It’s a perfect test of fertile ground. If the other person asks for your opinion and then offers you the same space to share it, do so. But if they cut you off, or jump back in every time you draw breath, simply return to the mirror state, and know that what you are a part of is not a conversation, it is simply a release of nervous energy, another person’s impulses being played out publicly, and what it probably needs in this moment is just a kind and active ear, not a clever or contrasting response.
Not everyone needs to be convinced of everything all the time. For instance, no mind has ever been genuinely changed in the outside area of a shitty nightclub on a Thursday night. So choose your moment. Become a mirror first, and remember, ideas that are forced to be taken as truth tend to be evil, whereas ideas that reveal themselves to be truth tend to be divine.
Michaelangelo Antonioni
Michelangelo Antonioni was an Italian filmmaker who made beautifully lonely visual poems.
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